The Real Journey of Planning your Wedding

I wasn’t one of those girls who have been dreaming of their “fairy tale” wedding since they were 10. In fact, all I knew is that one day I was going to have a wedding and I want to hear “African Queen” by 2face (which I don’t believe got played at my wedding). Nonetheless, in 2021 I got married and learnt so much during my process of wedding planning that I knew I wanted to share what I learnt for future brides.

A few facts about my wedding:

I’m Nigerian and my husband is Ugandan
We got married in the UK and had a traditional Yoruba wedding and a Church
ceremony wedding (aka white wedding)

We planned our wedding during the lockdown
We had 330 guests

I had 10 bridesmaids and my husband had 11 groomsmen

Wedding Planning isn’t always stressful…
While we were planning our wedding, I had many people ask me “are you stressed” and my answer was always “not really”.

Wedding planning is typically known as stressful, however, I don’t believe it has to be. Don’t get me wrong, there are high pressure points but the whole
process was not stressful for me. If you are organised; have a good set of people around you; and communicate with your partner; in my experience, the pressure will be alleviated.

The stressful aspects of planning a wedding are the cost and managing family and friends. In fact, I believe family dynamics is something no one talks about, and even if they do, it’s hard to prepare for what is to come because it’s unpredictable and only you know your family.
My parents are separated, which meant I had to navigate both sides of the family and, although things could have been worse, at points it did give me anxiety dealing with certain aspects such as “what colour will my parents wear”.

Always speak to your partner about how you’re feeling and do not bottle up your emotions. I did this and broke down during my
Traditional wedding while taking photos.

Planning your own wedding is not for the fainthearted…
If you’ve ever had a house party or BBQ, often you don’t get to enjoy it in the same way your friends do because you’re not as relaxed. You’re probably too busy checking if the punch is enough, or if the BBQ man needs anything or if someone has your address (despite having google maps). In the same way, if you don’t get a planner there is a risk you may not enjoy your wedding.

I didn’t get a wedding planner mainly because I didn’t need one — my husband doesn’t agree but he’s not here. The type of person I am, having a wedding planner would be counterproductive as I would be doing their job. I think planners are a luxury expense and not every bride turned planner is a good wedding planner. When deciding on whether you can plan your own wedding you need to assess your lifestyle, commitments, understanding and exposure to weddings and level of organisational skills — not everyone can plan their
own wedding.

We were in lockdown 3.0 when we planned our wedding, so I had enough time. In 2019 I went to eleven weddings (and my husband went to 12)– so I was exposed to different weddings. My job at the time was not as demanding and I am organised — I had the ability. In all this you NEED a GOOD wedding co-ordinator, because on the day you can’t manage all that you have planned God will grant you favour…I am a firm believer of financial planning, and our wedding planning was no different.

We budgeted for everything, down to my jewellery. The reality is weddings are extremely expensive and some costs are fixed, and some costs are dependent on guest numbers. We discussed the type of wedding we would want and roughly how much we would be comfortable to spend, in tandem with house buying. As many would say we “Cut our coat according to our size” and we’re so thankful we did.

We both got new jobs the year we got married and our parents, family and friends blessed us in ways we were not expecting and, I believed that we would receive favour and we sure did!
My journey of wedding planning was subjectively smooth. The main reason for this was my attitude.

I believe there is power in the tongue so I came into wedding planning declaring two things;

firstly, I will not be stressed. Secondly, we will experience financial favour.

Not everything went to plan, and I have some regrets but at the end of the day I had a beautiful ceremony, married my best friend, and most importantly God was at the centre.

I learnt so much and I want to make sure future brides have all the necessary and practical information to successfully plan their special day through @hindsightbride.

Dami K Luzinda
Hindsight Bride